A parents' guide to soothing children's nighttime fears

Bedtime rituals like tucking your child in, reading a favourite story, sharing quiet moments before sleep, are often some of the most cherished parts of the day.  But for many families, the calm can quickly unravel once the lights go out and familiar shadows begin to feel frightening.

If your child is suddenly afraid of monsters under the bed, noises in the house, or what might be lurking in the dark, you’re not alone.  Nighttime fears are a very common part of childhood and while they can be distressing, they are usually a normal stage of development.

This article explores why nighttime fears arise, how they affect children, what parents can do to help, and how to recognise when extra or more personalised support may be helpful.

Why do nighttime fears arise?

Nighttime fears (often called nocturnal fears) affect most children at some point, particularly between the ages of 2 and 9, with research suggesting that over 70% of children experience them to some degree.

These fears emerge as children’s imaginations become more vivid, while their ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality is still developing.  Cognitive growth, emotional awareness, and exposure to new ideas (stories, conversations, images) all contribute.

In the dark and quiet of night, everyday sounds can feel threatening, and imagined dangers can feel very real.  For children, these fears are not ‘silly’ or exaggerated; they are genuine experiences that require understanding and reassurance.

How nighttime fears can affect children

When nighttime fears take hold, they can disrupt sleep in several ways.  Children may struggle to fall asleep, resist bedtime, wake frequently for reassurance, or experience nightmares or night terrors.

Over time, disrupted sleep can lead to:

• Daytime tiredness and irritability

• Difficulty concentrating and regulating emotions

• Increased anxiety around bedtime

• Heightened stress for parents and caregivers

Recognising and responding to nighttime fears early can help prevent them from becoming more entrenched.

If you’re reading this because bedtime has become a source of stress or exhaustion, it’s worth pausing to say: this is hard, and you’re not doing anything wrong.  Many parents try multiple strategies and still feel unsure whether they’re helping or unintentionally reinforcing the fear.  That uncertainty is very common and support exists precisely for this reason.

What can parents do to support a child with nighttime fears?

1. Create a sense of safety in the sleep environment

• Lie down in your child’s room at night and look for shadows or shapes that might appear frightening.

• Listen for household noises that may sound unfamiliar or alarming in the quiet.

• Offer a dim night light to reduce fear of darkness without interfering with sleep.

• Leave the bedroom door slightly open if it helps your child feel connected to the household.

• Encourage comfort objects, such as a favourite toy or blanket.

• When reassurance is needed, comfort your child calmly in their bedroom and, where possible, in their own bed.

2. Establish a calm, predictable bedtime routine

• Build in calming activities such as reading, gentle conversation, or soothing music.

• Avoid stimulating or scary content in the hours before bed.

• End the routine in a predictable way so your child knows what to expect.

• Encourage positive, reassuring thoughts rather than dismissing fears.

Consistency helps children feel secure, especially during emotionally sensitive phases.

3. Teach gentle coping strategies

• Teach simple relaxation techniques, such as slow breathing or visualising a safe, happy place.

• Listen carefully to your child’s fears without minimising or teasing. Feeling heard is often more important than reassurance alone.

• Be cautious with strategies like ‘monster spray’; while well-intentioned, they can sometimes reinforce the idea that the fear is real.

• Reassure your child that you are nearby and available if they need you.

• Look for opportunities during the day to build confidence, independence, and emotional resilience.

What is normal and when might more support be helpful?

For many children, nighttime fears fade gradually as emotional regulation and understanding develop.  Progress often looks like:

• Shorter reassurance needs

• Less intense fear responses

• Increasing ability to settle with support

However, some children benefit from additional help, particularly if:

• Fears are intensifying rather than easing

• Anxiety is present during the day as well as at night

• Sleep disruption is ongoing and affecting daytime functioning

• Your child needs frequent reassurance throughout the night

• You feel unsure how to respond consistently or confidently

• Family sleep deprivation is taking a toll

Nighttime fears don’t exist in isolation; they are closely linked to emotional development, anxiety, imagination, and sleep regulation.

Nighttime fears as part of a bigger developmental picture

This phase is just one part of a child’s broader emotional and neurological development.  Supporting nighttime fears often involves looking beyond bedtime alone and considering how a child copes with emotions, change, and uncertainty during the day as well.

For some families, time and consistency are enough.  For others, a more tailored approach can make a meaningful difference; not because anything is ‘wrong,’ but because children vary in how they experience and process fear.

What to do next

If your child’s nighttime fears feel manageable, continuing with calm, consistent support may be all that’s needed.  If fears persist, worsen, or feel overwhelming (for your child or for you) seeking further guidance can help clarify what’s going on and how best to respond.

If fears are severe, long-lasting, or occur during the day, it’s appropriate to speak with your GP to rule out underlying anxiety.  You may also benefit from more specialised, personalised sleep or emotional support that looks at your child as an individual.